In the new year, I will walk on water. In the new year I will simultaneously fulfill multiple divergent career goals, have a child, landscape around my new front porch, be sociable, healthy, wise. In the new year, I will take care of my body. In the new year I will remember that there are infinite uses for time and NO ONE but me decides whether those uses are worthy. In the new year I will cut myself more slack. In the new year I will be at peace.
What's funny here is that these are not New Years "resolutions". And the walking on water is a joke. Yes. Mostly they are things likely to happen -- which is different in texture if you know what I mean. The pregnancy is there. The bizarrely divergent career goals -- all just going to happen. The peace. The joy. The sanity - I have never been in all my life so comfortable with the strange unpredictability that is the multiplicity of paths I may travel this year. I am waiting with no impatience and great contentment to see which way things turn out.
I spent New Years Eve eating the Peking Duck I usually eat on Christmas night with Jewish friends, then watching endless reruns of What Not To Wear and debugging a fux0r3d DNS so that I could reach the web. I had a lousy night's sleep (meaning Betsy kept waking up with a tummy ache) but woke up alert and happy.
Whatever 2005 is going to be, I feel a bizarre, fate-challenging certainty that it will be to the good. And completely unexpected. If the gods laugh, they will be taking vengance on the innocent. I'm not prideful. I certainly don't think I'm entitled. I just look at our calendar and see nothing but astonishingly good things. However it happened life is very very good.
Posted by karen at January 1, 2005 05:30 PM