One of the richest lessons of parenthood so far for me has been how one dimensional and poor it is easy to let life become. With enough time for each, split attention drawn between kids and work is healthy, playing to different strengths, each giving respite from the other. Your resources for either thing are not infinite, but the quality of the doing of both is so much more joyful than either one alone. I know that some of the hardest times with Boo before she's a teenager are just around the corner with toddlerhood, though.
Anyhow, as many of my friends are contemplating the additional complication children will make in their lives, I find myself needing to say - it's complicated. All logistical balancing acts are unique, no solution that works for one couple will suffice for another. And yet...this has been the best thing I have ever done with my life and I only wish the stars could have aligned so I would have thought it was a good idea sooner. There's no guarantee that the absolute contentment I feel is sharable by anyone else. But I know now what I could not have known before I had Betsy - you never know what you're getting into. It's such a crap shoot, that beyond making sure you know how you're going to eat (which planning I know is in the front of the minds of most of my friends), there's no sense looking for the perfect moment. You make the moment perfect after it's already happened. The perfect moment is the moment where action occurs. Always. And that's not about parenting. That's just life.
Posted by karen at September 4, 2003 12:00 AM