This morning, sitting in my office I got a call. This time, unlike previous visitations of which I've written, it was not the voice of Prophecy Love and Death. It was the voice of Project Doom.
When the voice of Project Doom speaks to you, it doesn't actually use WORDS. Oh, sure, someone is sitting on the other end of the phone or across the conference table and you're sitting there nominally listening, but time stands still. Until it is done with you, this particular possessing demon says you will hear nothing a person says to you. You will not breathe either. And when it finally departs, unless you are very strong you will probably cry like a little girl.
Right.
The interesting thing about this, though, is that once the voice of Project Doom is done with you, there really isn't anything left to be afraid of. There's nothing to stress about. The worst has actually happened and you are oddly alive afterwards - and you never thought you would be. Even if, in fact, it really is All Your Fault (and in this case the fuck up took a committee), you still live, the world still turns and you still go have lunch with your daughter and her class.
If I could preserve this particular headspace, I could and would take over the world. And be lighthearted, cheerful and pleasant doing it.
Posted by karen at July 2, 2004 03:41 PM