How the Toothfairy got in Trouble

We’re not exactly sure when in our house, the toothfairy went off the rails entirely. Her first mistake was in giving the little rascals anything but a quarter. Ok, maybe a buck. One day she thought it’d be cute and added fairydust and a tootsie roll. That worked for a while, but then, one of the girls — I think it was the little one, of rowdy teddy bear fame — suggested what she REALLY wanted in exchange for her tooth was a Beyblade. Silly toothfairy. Toothfairy of woefully bad judgement, the toothfairy, that very night, ran to Target, scooped up a Beyblade and left it for my daughter.

Next the older one asked for a piece of jewelry and got it. After all what could the toothfairy do? She’d already said yes to a cheap piece of plastic! This was at least a quality request!! Since then, delays in delivery have gotten personal notes, and extra cash as well as odds and ends of stuff. That was several teeth ago, but by now, the older one has lost all her teeth, so the toothfairy’s only got one to please.

Lately the demands have gotten more outlandish. The little one with the assertive bear spent a week at a 19th century reenactment camp — and she wants a bonnet. A white little girl’s bonnet. Pony up, toothfairy! And I don’t want to wait all month!! The toothfairy searched high. The toothfairy searched low. She’s written me and called me nasty names for ever giving her permission to get into this non-quarters and tootsie rolls affair. I tell her she’s brought it on herself and she’ll just have to suck it up until she has another family to replace us.

What’s next? A pony? A suit of armor? A double headed axe? I’m counting the teeth and waiting to see. I know the toothfairy is too.

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